A few weeks ago, I posted an entry about my “Kryptonite” when referring to people who put me down. Concerning that, I have this update: No matter what people say to me, they’re not the real problem. I am.
Who’s Responsible for my Self-Esteem?
It’s me who’s responsible for how I feel about myself. If I’m unhappy, I can’t blame anyone else for those feelings in spite of hurtful things they have said. In other words, if someone has become my Kryptonite, it’s only because I allowed it to happen. I don’t have to let what other people say define who I am and determine my future. I also don’t have to react defensively to what they say to me just to try to make myself feel better.
However, it’s a challenge. I sometimes feel judged and criticized by the same people who’ve accused me of judging and criticizing them. It’s tough – this game us humans play. We always seem to want to fight for superiority rights and I myself stupidly fell into the trap of going along with all the competitive games.
I’m no better than anyone else, and no one else is any better than me. Therefore, I hereby declare that I want no part in any more effort to prove I’m number one – not any more. I’m too old for all that childishness and just want to live a peaceful life. On the other hand, I don’t spend much time with people who try to belittle me. Otherwise, it could ruin me. I need to surround myself with people who do believe in me, not people who don’t.
To People who Put Me Down
I know I’m not perfect either. I did things of which I am not proud. I pushed a lot of people away, too. Therefore, I forgive you. Also, I do understand that some of you were not happy with who you are more so than I was happy with myself. I’m sorry I wasn’t more patient with any one of you when you were still in my life. Since then I’ve learned to accept people in spite of their imperfections if I want them to accept me.