The toughest part about having gone through abuse is not even actually the abuse itself. No, rather, it is the way people treat the abused person for years after.
I almost in a way wished in my case people didn't believe the abuse happened to me. That to me at this point would've (almost) been better than being treated like a helpless victim.
I've been felt sorry for and told I was a "damaged person" and treated like a baby. On the other hand, I was told I should just "get over it." So which is it, people?
You can't have compassion for a person and then later treat them as if they're the ones who deserve to not have anything good in life -- no marriage, no kids, nothing good. You can't feel sorry for them and then later treat them like they're not even capable of taking care of themselves.
On the other hand, you can't just tell them to "get over it" if you don't even have the tools to help them do it. Aside from that, the people who treat others like helpless victims need to grow up. You need to realize you're no better than the next person and people who survived do not deserve to be put down and belittled based merely on what you see rather than what you know.
You especially can't decide anything about a person if you don't live their daily lives and don't know how hard they worked on themselves.
In other words, just because a person isn't yet at the level of progress in their healing as you think they should be, doesn't mean their permanently damaged. In fact, if anything, it probably means that you're the one with issues. Don't ever judge anyone who's trying very hard to make life as good as possible without living a lie in spite of the abuse that happened to them.