I wonder about destiny. What will life be like for me when I turn 50 years old? Will I be strung out on drugs and alcohol, just getting divorced for the second time, have lost a significant other, or have major kidney problems? Will I die of cancer and not make enough money and have to depend on other people (or the government), or will I be happy and healthy in a good relationship?
All around me I see people dropping like flies, not leaving me much hope
People younger than me lying lifeless in a bath tub after a drug overdose, and people older than me drinking and smoking themselves to their grave.
It's a wonder why I'm even still alive, and I feel fear for my own future. What's life going to be like for me in another 10 years? I always had high hope for my future, but I'm starting to get discouraged. I don't know how much more tribulation I can handle. I don't know if I want to hope it will get any better, because numerous people older than me don't give me much to look forward to. If life is as terrible for me as it is for some people who just turned 50, then what hope do I have left?