Friday, July 19, 2013

I'm Fed Up With My Mom Trying To "Help" Me

This is so harsh that I can't even put it in this post. I have to put the text I originally wrote about this in a PDF format for you to download. It's about how my mom seemed to want to "put me in my place." I'm not saying all of this is reality, but it's my perception right now if my mom's "well-meaning" (yeah well meaning my tush) attempts to help me. I spent over half my life trying to prove her wrong about my stability, and I hope I still have time to do that.

Why it's so important to me to prove my mom wrong I don't know. I just want the world to know I could get by without her if I have to:

I'm tired of her thinking that I need her, which I really don't. I'm also fed up with her feeling so adamant about being needed. I'm almost 40 years old. I'm an adult. She needs to find something other than thinking I need fixing for her to keep going. I'm so tired of the codependency that occurs within my family tree--especially with her.

In spite of everything, I'm that ever happened in my life--primarily my dad sexually abusing me but other things--I'm lucky to thrive as I do even if my life didn't turn out like planned. I might be almost 40 years old and not married yet, but at least I have enough sense to not put up with even half the crap my mom did in relationships.

Who's Better Than Whom? We'll Wait and See
I'm not sure, but it might appear to my mom that my brothers' lives are going better than mine. After all, they both followed the status quo. They got married, have steady jobs, had kids or plan to have kids, and just live the life my mom always wanted for me. 

However, who's to say that kind of life was meant for me? If it was, I would've already been married. Maybe maybe my destiny is singleness, and maybe it's not all my fault I'm almost 40 and still unmarried. I have to accept life as it is and if I miss out on having the chance of raising a family, oh well! That's my decision not anyone else's. 

There's no need for my mom to feel sorry for me. When she acts as though she does, it seems so phony anyway. In fact, I hate when anyone feels sorry for me--especially my mom. It's nice to know people might love me anyway, but it also would be nice to not appear so "screwed up" in the process.

1 comment:

  1. God can not reach everywhere, so he create a mom who can play the role of him. Mother is always worry about her child. It may be the reason who love us, we hurt them.


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