Sunday, November 4, 2012
Dreams Significant to Real Life?
I had some weird but significant dreams this morning. One of them was I was in this Christian school-or trying to get into it.
I thought I was doing good during the on-site school “tryout.” (I was actually participating on site at an educational institution that didn't accept people until they were screened right on site.) However, I saw my marks as they flashed across the projector screen. I already had seven out of 10. That can't be good, I thought.
I then began to defend myself asking “why?” I also made the excuse that I wasn't even warned of the consequences of wrongdoing-as if I really didn't know. One of the offenses I often committed was swearing.
“But I said I was sorry. It shouldn't count against me if I said I was sorry!” They wouldn't take any of my marks away. Then, in the process of my trying to explain myself I was becoming more and more upset and another expletive slipped out after which I covered my mouth and said, “I'm sorry. Oh I'm so sorry!”
Comments about dream: It was as if I was finally becoming aware of what I was doing. Then I woke up, and then fell back asleep for awhile longer (as far as I remember). Now, as writing this, I think if only swearing were the only worries! However, sin is sin I guess.
Another dream I had after I feel back a sleep was that I ran into someone who used to be a close friend in grade school. I hadn't seen her in years, and asked her for her phone number. She was reluctant to give it to me until I asked her “why?”
She mentioned something about something another friend said about me. (When I woke up I don't remember what my friend said. I may not even have asked her in my dream because I didn't want to know.)
Comments about dream: This dream is partially based on real life, only doesn't involve all the original people. I often wonder why when I would ask people I used to hang out with for their phone number and they decide they don't want to give it to me.
I notice for some reason it's usually when my female friends get married or when they are in a serious relationship. Of course, I've always been a strange one, and people either usually really love me or really hate me.
It's scary though. I wasn't even aware that I offended anyone. What people should realize though is that my life is no joke, and that there is a good reason for me being single for as long as I have been. To make a long story short, I just wanted to wait until certain serious family problems were resolved before I do.
However, it's just getting worse. Therefore, who knows? I could be single the rest of my life. In spite of that, I have to hold my head up high an not let any of my married friends get me down. They are not any better than me even if they'd like to think they are. 9:19 AM 11/4/2012
What Do These Dreams Mean? Feedback Welcome
I have some idea as to what these dreams mean. I know they have a lot to do with how I feel about myself, which is not very good sometimes. I always feel this pressure to be perfect because as I was growing up I was pushed to be something better than I really was. I always have felt I have to be perfect to be accepted, which is a shame because I fall way short.
However...I wonder what other people think of this?