I've tried as much as possible to be content with my life for a long time. After all, when I was going to church more regularly that was what I was supposed to do. However, sometimes I get so tired of fighting. I sometimes just need a break.
I'm a very optimistic person when I want to be. However, sometimes I can't help but wonder when life will ever get any better for me. As far as the happiness factor of my life, this has to be the hardest year of my life since my grandpa diet in 1992.
Incidentally, my grandma just died this past July 2, 2011. That was almost five months ago now. I didn't visit her as often as I did but I still miss her because I would at least make it a point to see her on the holidays plus a handful of other times during the year.
That must be it. The fact that my grandma died. Read "I know I Should Have Faith..." Part II to learn the rest of this story.