I felt a release for the first time in at least a couple of months. Sometimes the anxiety, stress, and sadness buries feelings of joy deeply beneath the surface. I think I have at least temporarily found happiness again.
The answer for me was to keep writing in my journal. I wrote about deaths in the family as well as of fond memories of a loved one lost two decades ago. Sometimes short references to disturbing traumas I endured also helps release me from the erupting anxiousness that builds up.
It feels good to finally have a break from all the traumatic feelings that remained stagnant. It was the triggers of panic that helped me reach the joy once again from deep within.