I cannot think of a better message right now to give to adult parents whose adult kids did not turn out they way you would have hoped. All I can say is get over it. After all, you didn't turn out how your parents hoped you would either, did you?
I know this is very harsh, and it is kind of intended to be-although I was very reluctant to publish this because I know it could stir up a lot of trouble everywhere. But I myself am sick and tired of it.
See, I for one am for the most part trying the best I can to be content with my life even though not everything is perfect. Maybe I could do better for myself but in the mean time I still have a life to live, which I am attempting to live the best I can to the fullest.
I swear that some people's kids could make millions of dollars a year and their parents still would not be happy. And why is that? Because those parents place too much emphasis on how their kids turn out-as if it some kind of reflection on them.
All I can say is...in case some parents wonder why their children don't want to talk to them. It's because they sometimes don't feel like they can. The biggest fear is always being judged, always being criticized, and always being put down.
Even if a family does not give an adult child any more money, chances are if they have any self-motivation at all they will make it on their own. They will make it even if they never again receive a single dime from anyone.
I am saying this because it's so easy for family members, particularly a parent, to choose one child as the scapegoat because it's easier to focus on their problems versus your own. I think you should stop trying to judge your children based on external things-whether they are married or not, whether they have kids or not, and whether they make a lot of money or not.